More and more young people are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that governments are mainly responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Stance: Governments carry significant responsibility, but individual choices are equally crucial; therefore, I only partially agree.
The 6.5 essay keeps the same partially-agree stance and even attempts a personal anecdote and an emphatic structure, but its supporting ideas are thinner (one policy example, one habit change) and its vocabulary is far plainer than the 7.5 answer's 'not a panacea' and 'conducive to health'.
In Vietnam, more young people are eating fast food, drinking bubble tea, and ordering food through delivery apps instead of eating traditional meals. Because of this, rates of overweight and unhealthy young people have increased. Some people think the government is mainly responsible for solving this problem, but I only partly agree, because individual choices are also very important.
Governments can definitely help to solve this problem. They can make policies such as taxing sugary drinks, controlling advertisements for junk food aimed at children, and making sure schools serve healthy food instead of fried snacks. Governments can also build more parks and sports facilities so that young people have safe places to exercise. For example, if a city builds a new park near a school, more students may choose to play sports there after class instead of staying at home.
However, in the end, it is individuals who must choose to live a healthy lifestyle. Even with good government policies, nothing will change if young people are not willing to eat well and exercise. I remember that when I was a university student, I often ate fried food and rarely exercised, and I gradually gained weight. It was only when I decided myself to start cooking at home and going to the gym three times a week that I actually became healthier. No policy could have made that decision for me.
In conclusion, although governments have an important role to play in creating a healthier environment, individuals must also take responsibility for their own choices. Solving the problem of youth obesity requires effort from both the government and young people themselves.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“I only partly agree, because individual choices are also very important.” — States a clear balanced position early, though more simply than the fuller thesis sentence in the 7.5 answer.
- LR“taxing sugary drinks” — A correct, useful collocation, but the paragraph relies on a short list rather than the wider policy vocabulary seen at higher bands.
- CC“However, in the end, it is individuals who must choose to live a healthy lifestyle.” — A basic but correctly placed contrastive marker pivoting from government responsibility to personal responsibility.
- GRA“It was only when I decided myself to start cooking at home and going to the gym three times a week that I actually became healthier.” — Attempts an emphatic 'it was only when...that' structure, showing awareness of more complex grammar, though most surrounding sentences remain simple or compound.
- TR“Solving the problem of youth obesity requires effort from both the government and young people themselves.” — The conclusion clearly restates the balanced stance without introducing new nuance.
The 7.0 answer sharpens the personal anecdote with specific habits (cooking, cycling three times a week) and slightly richer policy vocabulary than 6.5, but it still develops each paragraph with a single supporting idea rather than the fully quantified, turning-point narrative (numbers on kilograms lost, months elapsed) that makes the 7.5 answer so persuasive.
As diets in Vietnam shift away from traditional home-cooked meals towards fast food, sugary drinks and food-delivery apps, the number of overweight young people has risen noticeably in recent years. While some argue that governments are mainly responsible for tackling this issue, I believe that state action must be combined with individual responsibility, so I only partly agree.
Governments certainly have the power to shape a healthier environment for young people. They can introduce policies such as taxing sugary drinks, limiting the advertising of junk food to children, and requiring schools to serve nutritious meals rather than deep-fried snacks. Investing in public facilities, such as parks and sports grounds, also gives young people accessible places to stay active, which can turn exercise into a normal part of daily life rather than an extra effort. Measures like these shape the environment in which young people make everyday choices, even though they cannot force anyone to actually take up healthier habits.
Nevertheless, the final decision to live healthily still rests with the individual, since no policy can force someone to make better choices. During my final year at university, I often relied on fried takeout and rarely exercised, which led to a gradual but noticeable increase in weight. It was only after I committed to cooking simple meals at home and cycling three times a week that I actually lost weight and felt more energetic, a change that no government programme could have made for me.
In conclusion, while government policies are valuable for building a healthier environment, they are not enough on their own. Real progress against youth obesity depends on both government action and individuals taking responsibility for their own daily habits.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“I believe that state action must be combined with individual responsibility, so I only partly agree.” — A clear, balanced thesis with slightly more developed reasoning than the shorter equivalent in the 6.5 version.
- LR“limiting the advertising of junk food to children” — A more precise policy collocation than 6.5's plainer 'controlling advertisements', though not as varied as the fuller policy list in the 7.5 answer.
- CC“Nevertheless, the final decision to live healthily still rests with the individual, since no policy can force someone to make better choices.” — Uses a more formal concessive marker than 6.5's 'However', combined with a reason clause in the same sentence.
- GRA“It was only after I committed to cooking simple meals at home and cycling three times a week that I actually lost weight and felt more energetic, a change that no government programme could have made for me.” — An emphatic 'it was only after...that' clause extended with an appositive phrase, showing more control than the shorter equivalent structure at 6.5.
This 7.5 answer is distinguished by its precisely quantified personal narrative (eight months, seven kilograms, orders cut from six to two per week) that makes the individual-responsibility argument concrete, combined with an idiomatic closing ('not a panacea') and an emphatic inverted final sentence.
As diets in Vietnam shift from traditional rice-and-vegetable meals towards fast food, sugary bubble tea, and endless food-delivery apps, rates of overweight and obesity among urban children and teenagers have climbed noticeably in the past decade. While some argue that governments bear the main responsibility for reversing this trend, I contend that state intervention, though crucial, must be matched by individual accountability for lifestyle choices.
Governments undeniably play a substantial role in shaping a nation's public health environment. They are uniquely positioned to implement policies that promote healthier living, such as taxing sugary drinks, restricting the marketing of junk food to children on television and social media, and requiring schools to serve nutritious lunches rather than deep-fried snacks. Furthermore, investing in accessible public amenities, such as parks, sports fields, and safe pavements, provides essential infrastructure for physical activity. For instance, projects that turn neglected riverbanks or canals into green corridors for walking and cycling encourage exercise to become part of daily life rather than a conscious, time-consuming effort.
Nevertheless, the ultimate decision to adopt a healthy lifestyle rests with the individual. No amount of governmental provision can force someone to make beneficial choices if they are unwilling. In my experience as an operations supervisor for a coffee chain in Ho Chi Minh City, this became painfully clear on a personal level. Two years ago, a routine health check revealed mild fatty liver and elevated blood lipids, a direct result of my sedentary desk work and a habit of ordering fried takeout almost every evening after closing the shop. It was only by committing to evening jogs along the Nhieu Loc canal path near my home, initially difficult but sustained by turning it into a ritual with a colleague, and cutting my weekly takeout orders from six down to two, that I saw real improvement. After eight months, my fatty liver had disappeared, my blood lipids had normalised, and I had lost seven kilograms - none of which any government policy could have done for me.
In conclusion, while governmental strategies are indispensable for creating an environment conducive to health, they are not a panacea. Responsibility ultimately remains with individuals to engage with these provisions and make conscious decisions that prioritise their own well-being. Only a concerted effort from both government and citizens can reverse the worrying rise in youth obesity.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“I contend that state intervention, though crucial, must be matched by individual accountability for lifestyle choices.” — A clear, balanced thesis statement that commits the essay to a specific, arguable position.
- LR“sugary bubble tea” — A precise, culturally grounded lexical choice that anchors the abstract topic in concrete local detail.
- CC“Nevertheless, the ultimate decision to adopt a healthy lifestyle rests with the individual.” — The concessive discourse marker "Nevertheless" signals a clean turn from the government's role to the individual's responsibility.
- GRA“It was only by committing to evening jogs along the Nhieu Loc canal path near my home, initially difficult but sustained by turning it into a ritual with a colleague, and cutting my weekly takeout orders from six down to two, that I saw real improvement.” — A cleft "It was only by... that..." construction used to place emphasis, demonstrating a sophisticated grammatical structure.
- TR“Only a concerted effort from both government and citizens can reverse the worrying rise in youth obesity.” — The final sentence reaffirms the essay's balanced position with an emphatic inverted structure.