In some countries, older people who stop working choose to spend their money on themselves, for example on travel, instead of saving it for their children. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Stance: This development is largely positive: it fosters the well-being and independence of older people and, in doing so, can strengthen family bonds in new ways, even though it challenges traditional expectations of inheritance.
This answer is capped at 6.5 because its reasoning stays close to the surface ('it seems fair' and 'can be good for the whole family') without the 7.5 version's specific link to Vietnam's pension system, and its linking relies on simple sequencing words like 'First' and 'Second' rather than varied cohesive devices.
More and more retired people are choosing to spend their savings on themselves, for example on travelling, instead of saving the money for their children. In my opinion, this is mostly a positive development.
First, this trend supports the independence and well-being of older people. After working hard for many years, and often raising children during difficult times, it seems fair that retirees should be able to enjoy their own lives. Spending money on travel, hobbies or simply a more comfortable life can improve both their physical and mental health. When older people feel happy and fulfilled, this can also be good for the whole family, because their children do not have to worry so much about supporting them financially.
Second, this trend does not necessarily weaken family relationships; it can actually build stronger connections in a different way. Children who cannot rely on receiving a large amount of money from their parents are encouraged to build their own financial future, which can make them more independent. For example, instead of giving my 80-year-old grandmother a large sum of money for her birthday, I spent several days teaching her how to make video calls on Zalo. Now she calls different family members every week, and she said this makes her feel closer to us than any amount of money could.
In conclusion, I believe that retired people choosing to spend money on themselves rather than saving it for their children is a positive change. It allows older people to enjoy their later years while also encouraging a closer, more emotional kind of family connection.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“In my opinion, this is mostly a positive development.” — A short, direct statement of position placed right after the topic sentence, meeting the task requirement though without the qualifying phrase 'on the whole' that softens the 7.5 thesis.
- LR“financial future” — A simple, correct collocation, plainer than the 7.5 essay's more specific 'financial security' paired with 'resilience and ambition'.
- CC“Second, this trend does not necessarily weaken family relationships; it can actually build stronger connections in a different way.” — The sequencing word 'Second' together with the semicolon-joined contrast keeps the two-reason structure visible, functioning like 'Secondly' in the 7.5 essay.
- GRA“Now she calls different family members every week, and she said this makes her feel closer to us than any amount of money could.” — A correctly built sentence with a comparative clause ('closer... than... could'), though simpler in structure than the layered sentence covering the same idea in the 7.5 essay.
- TR“It allows older people to enjoy their later years while also encouraging a closer, more emotional kind of family connection.” — The conclusion ties the two body paragraphs' points together in one sentence, echoing the dual focus of the 7.5 conclusion in simpler language.
This version reaches 7.0 through more specific collocations ('burden placed on the public healthcare system', 'financial security') and a sentence that embeds a relative clause inside a time clause, but its two supporting points are still each carried by a single example rather than the fuller reasoning chains of the 7.5 answer.
An increasing number of retirees are choosing to spend their savings on personal experiences, such as travel, rather than saving the money as an inheritance for their children. In my view, this shift is largely a positive development.
Firstly, this trend supports the independence and well-being of older people. After decades of working hard, and often raising children through financially difficult periods, it seems entirely reasonable for retirees to prioritise their own quality of life. Spending on travel, hobbies or simply a more comfortable daily routine can meaningfully improve both physical and mental health in old age, which may also reduce the burden placed on the public healthcare system. In addition, when older people feel fulfilled rather than financially restricted, this often benefits the whole family, since their contentment removes some emotional and financial pressure from their adult children.
Secondly, rather than weakening family ties, this trend can redefine family closeness around connection instead of inheritance. Children who cannot depend on a guaranteed sum of money are encouraged to build their own financial security, which tends to foster greater independence and resilience. In my own experience, when my grandmother, who lives alone in the Mekong Delta, turned 80, I spent several days teaching her to make video calls on Zalo instead of giving her a large sum of money. She now regularly calls different family members each week, and she told me this made her feel far closer to the family than any amount of cash could.
In conclusion, the growing choice made by retirees to spend money on themselves rather than save it for their children represents a positive shift. It allows older people to enjoy genuine fulfilment in later life while encouraging a more resilient and emotionally connected form of family relationship.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“In my view, this shift is largely a positive development.” — A concise thesis matching the 7.5 essay's phrasing almost directly, showing the writer can state a position with the same natural hedge ('largely').
- LR“burden placed on the public healthcare system” — A more specific, socially-grounded collocation than the 6.5 band's plain 'physical and mental health', showing a step up in topic-specific range.
- CC“Secondly, rather than weakening family ties, this trend can redefine family closeness around connection instead of inheritance.” — 'Secondly' paired with the 'rather than' contrast keeps the argument's structure transparent, functioning like the 7.5 essay's 'Secondly... rather than weakening family ties' opening.
- GRA“when my grandmother, who lives alone in the Mekong Delta, turned 80, I spent several days teaching her to make video calls on Zalo instead of giving her a large sum of money” — A sentence embedding a non-defining relative clause within a time clause, showing wider grammatical control than the 6.5 band's simpler sentence covering the same example.
- TR“It allows older people to enjoy genuine fulfilment in later life while encouraging a more resilient and emotionally connected form of family relationship.” — The conclusion uses the precise phrase 'genuine fulfilment' to sharpen the restated thesis, a step closer to the 7.5 ending's 'genuine contentment... paradoxically'.
The 7.5 answer is distinguished by explicitly naming Vietnam's 'still-developing pension system' as the reason adult children carry financial weight, and by using the word 'paradoxically' in its conclusion to name the essay's central irony — that spending on oneself in old age can bring a family emotionally closer.
A growing number of retirees are choosing to spend their savings on personal pursuits, such as travel, rather than setting the money aside as an inheritance for their children. In my view, this shift is, on the whole, a positive development.
First and foremost, this trend champions the autonomy and well-being of older people. After decades spent working and, in many cases, raising children through years of financial hardship, it seems entirely fair for retirees to prioritise their own quality of life. Spending on travel, hobbies or simply a more comfortable daily routine can meaningfully improve both mental and physical health in old age, which in turn may reduce the strain on the public healthcare system. Furthermore, when older people feel fulfilled and engaged rather than merely thrifty out of obligation, family dynamics can actually improve, since their contentment and independence lift a certain financial and emotional weight off their adult children's shoulders — a weight that, in Vietnam's still-developing pension system, many working-age children quietly carry.
Secondly, rather than weakening family ties, this approach quietly redefines intergenerational support around connection rather than inheritance. Children who cannot rely on a guaranteed windfall are encouraged to build their own financial security, which tends to foster greater resilience and ambition. In my own experience, when my grandmother, who lives alone in a small town in the Mekong Delta, turned 80, I spent several days during Tết teaching her to make video calls on Zalo instead of leaving her a large sum of money as a gift. She now initiates calls with various family members several times a week, and for her most recent birthday, all of us sang to her together online — an experience she said made her feel closer to the family than any envelope of cash ever could. This illustrates how time and attention, rather than financial inheritance alone, can become the true bedrock of family closeness.
In conclusion, the choice made by many older people to spend their money on themselves rather than save it for their children represents a beneficial shift. It fosters genuine contentment in old age while, somewhat paradoxically, encouraging a more resilient and emotionally connected form of family life than a simple inheritance ever could.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“In my view, this shift is, on the whole, a positive development.” — A short, unambiguous thesis statement that directly answers the question posed in the prompt.
- LR“champions the autonomy and well-being of older people” — A precise verb collocation ("champions") that conveys active advocacy rather than a merely neutral effect.
- GRA“Furthermore, when older people feel fulfilled and engaged rather than merely thrifty out of obligation, family dynamics can actually improve, since their contentment and independence lift a certain financial and emotional weight off their adult children's shoulders — a weight that, in Vietnam's still-developing pension system, many working-age children quietly carry.” — A long sentence layering a subordinate time clause, a causal clause, and a relative clause, all resolved without losing grammatical control.
- CC“Secondly, rather than weakening family ties, this approach quietly redefines intergenerational support around connection rather than inheritance.” — The sequencing marker "Secondly" together with the back-reference "this approach" keeps the two-reason structure of the essay transparent.
- TR“the choice made by many older people to spend their money on themselves rather than save it for their children represents a beneficial shift.” — The conclusion returns to the exact terms of the prompt and reaffirms the essay's position with confidence.