More and more people are choosing to travel to natural places that are untouched and have not been visited before. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Stance: This essay will explore both the advantages of travelling to untouched natural areas, chiefly personal enrichment and new economic opportunities for local communities, and the disadvantages, namely environmental degradation and safety risks.
This answer stays fully correct and on-topic but develops each side of the argument with only one example, relies on basic linkers like 'However' and 'For example', and repeats plain vocabulary such as 'real danger' and 'new way to earn money' rather than more precise collocations.
Nowadays, more and more people want to travel to natural places that no one has visited before, instead of going to normal tourist spots. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, it brings personal benefits and new money for local people. On the other hand, it can damage the environment and be dangerous for tourists.
One advantage is that travelling to wild places gives people a feeling of discovery and helps them relax after busy city life. For example, in Vietnam, many tourists now go to Sơn Đoòng cave in Phong Nha-Kẻ Bàng National Park, which is the biggest cave in the world. Also, more tourists go trekking in Tà Xùa in the north of Vietnam. Because of this, local villages near these places can open homestays and small restaurants for visitors. This gives local families, especially ethnic minority people, a new way to earn money that they did not have before.
However, this kind of tourism also has serious disadvantages. First, too many visitors can harm the environment. For example, more people walking around Phong Nha-Kẻ Bàng causes soil erosion and litter, and it can damage the cave system that took thousands of years to form. Second, these remote areas usually do not have good roads, phone signal, or rescue services. This means tourists can be in real danger if the weather suddenly changes or if they get lost in the mountains, and some hikers have even become stranded far from any help.
In conclusion, although travelling to untouched natural places can bring personal enjoyment and new income for local communities, it also causes environmental damage and safety risks. Therefore, tourists and the government both need to be careful when developing this kind of tourism.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“This trend has both advantages and disadvantages.” — A simple, direct thesis statement that signals a balanced advantages/disadvantages essay, though it lacks the more developed phrasing of a higher-band introduction.
- CC“However, this kind of tourism also has serious disadvantages.” — The basic discourse marker 'However' clearly signals the shift from the advantages paragraph to the disadvantages paragraph.
- LR“gives people a feeling of discovery” — A correct and appropriate but fairly ordinary collocation, safer and less vivid than the idiomatic phrasing used at higher bands.
- GRA“This means tourists can be in real danger if the weather suddenly changes or if they get lost in the mountains” — A grammatically correct conditional structure with 'if', though simpler than the participial-plus-relative-clause construction used at band 7.5.
- TR“In conclusion, although travelling to untouched natural places can bring personal enjoyment and new income for local communities, it also causes environmental damage and safety risks.” — The conclusion correctly restates the essay's balanced position without introducing new ideas.
This answer reaches 7.0 through richer collocations such as 'delicate ecosystems' and 'rising interest' and one well-built multi-clause sentence per body paragraph, but each paragraph still rests on a single reason and example rather than the reasoning-plus-example-plus-brief-counterpoint layering seen at 7.5.
An increasing number of tourists are choosing to visit natural places that have never been explored, rather than sticking to popular destinations. This trend has both clear advantages and disadvantages: it can bring personal satisfaction and economic benefits, but it can also cause environmental harm and put travellers at risk.
One major advantage is the sense of adventure and mental relaxation that exploring untouched places can offer, which is very different from the stress of everyday city life. In Vietnam, for instance, growing numbers of travellers are heading to Sơn Đoòng, the largest cave in the world, located in Phong Nha-Kẻ Bàng National Park, or trekking through the misty mountains of Tà Xùa in the north. This rising interest has created real economic opportunities for nearby communities, as villages along these routes now offer homestays, local guides and small restaurants, giving ethnic minority households a valuable new source of income that simply did not exist before.
On the other hand, this type of tourism brings considerable disadvantages, particularly regarding the environment and personal safety. Even a small increase in visitor numbers can put pressure on delicate ecosystems; for example, growing foot traffic around Phong Nha-Kẻ Bàng has led to soil erosion, litter and disturbance to the cave environment, which took millions of years to form. In addition, because these remote regions often lack proper infrastructure, mobile signal or nearby medical help, tourists face genuine risks from sudden weather changes and difficult mountain terrain, and there have been cases of inexperienced hikers becoming stranded far from any rescue service.
In conclusion, while exploring Vietnam's untouched natural landscapes can offer travellers real personal enrichment and bring welcome economic opportunities to remote communities, these advantages need to be weighed carefully against the environmental damage and safety hazards that such trips can involve.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“This trend has both clear advantages and disadvantages: it can bring personal satisfaction and economic benefits, but it can also cause environmental harm and put travellers at risk.” — A clear, balanced thesis, though it lists the two sides mechanically rather than blending them into one fluid sentence as the 7.5 answer does.
- CC“On the other hand, this type of tourism brings considerable disadvantages, particularly regarding the environment and personal safety.” — A clear transitional sentence marking the pivot to disadvantages, though 'On the other hand' is a more common device than the 7.5 answer's 'Conversely'.
- LR“sense of adventure and mental relaxation” — A well-chosen paired collocation describing the psychological benefit, solid but less idiomatic than the 7.5 answer's 'profound sense of discovery and mental renewal'.
- GRA“because these remote regions often lack proper infrastructure, mobile signal or nearby medical help, tourists face genuine risks from sudden weather changes and difficult mountain terrain, and there have been cases of inexperienced hikers becoming stranded far from any rescue service.” — A long sentence joining a reason clause, a main clause and a further coordinated clause; accurate and reasonably controlled, though less tightly built than the participial-plus-relative-clause combination at band 7.5.
- TR“In conclusion, while exploring Vietnam's untouched natural landscapes can offer travellers real personal enrichment and bring welcome economic opportunities to remote communities, these advantages need to be weighed carefully against the environmental damage and safety hazards that such trips can involve.” — The conclusion accurately restates the balanced position established in the introduction, closing the essay coherently.
The 7.5 answer is distinguished by idiomatic collocations like 'profound sense of discovery' and 'burgeoning interest', a single long sentence that fuses a participial clause with a relative clause under full grammatical control, and the discourse marker 'Conversely' organising the whole essay around one genuinely balanced dual thesis.
An increasing number of travellers are seeking out remote, largely unexplored natural landscapes rather than conventional tourist destinations. This trend carries a genuine dual character, offering meaningful personal and economic rewards while simultaneously posing serious ecological and safety risks.
One clear advantage of venturing into untouched terrain is the profound sense of discovery and mental renewal it offers, a stark contrast to the noise and pressure of city life. Vietnam's own tourism landscape illustrates this vividly: the rise of expeditions into Sơn Đoòng, the world's largest cave system in Phong Nha-Kẻ Bàng National Park, and the growing popularity of trekking routes through the cloud-covered ridges of Tà Xùa in the northern mountains, have drawn adventurous travellers willing to pay substantial sums and undergo demanding physical preparation for the experience. This burgeoning interest brings tangible economic benefits to once-overlooked communities; villages near these trekking routes have seen the emergence of homestays, local guiding services, and small eateries catering to visitors, providing ethnic minority households in particular with income streams that were simply unavailable a decade ago.
Conversely, the disadvantages of this trend are considerable, centring on both environmental strain and genuine danger to travellers. Even modest visitor numbers can disturb fragile ecosystems: expanding foot traffic in and around Phong Nha-Kẻ Bàng has raised concerns among conservationists about soil erosion, litter, and disturbance to cave ecosystems that took millennia to form, while unregulated trekking in areas such as Tà Xùa or the remote reaches of the Central Highlands risks damaging fragile forest cover that helps prevent landslides. Moreover, these remote regions typically lack developed infrastructure, mobile signal, or nearby emergency services, leaving trekkers exposed to real danger from sudden weather changes, treacherous mountain terrain, and the kind of accidents that have occasionally made headlines when inexperienced hikers became stranded far from rescue.
In conclusion, while journeys into Vietnam's untouched natural landscapes offer travellers genuine personal enrichment and bring welcome economic opportunity to remote communities, these benefits must be carefully weighed against the ecological damage and considerable safety hazards that such expeditions can entail.
Collocations
Examiner Notes
- TR“This trend carries a genuine dual character, offering meaningful personal and economic rewards while simultaneously posing serious ecological and safety risks.” — States a clear, balanced thesis in the introduction that both sides of the essay will develop.
- LR“profound sense of discovery and mental renewal” — Idiomatic collocation used naturally to describe the psychological benefit of remote travel.
- CC“Conversely, the disadvantages of this trend are considerable, centring on both environmental strain and genuine danger to travellers.” — Discourse marker 'Conversely' clearly signals the pivot from the advantages paragraph to the disadvantages paragraph.
- GRA“leaving trekkers exposed to real danger from sudden weather changes, treacherous mountain terrain, and the kind of accidents that have occasionally made headlines when inexperienced hikers became stranded far from rescue.” — A participial clause followed by a relative clause builds one long, controlled sentence out of several linked ideas.
- TR“these benefits must be carefully weighed against the ecological damage and considerable safety hazards that such expeditions can entail.” — The conclusion restates the essay's balanced position rather than introducing new, unaddressed ideas.