犯罪与惩罚

Some people believe that improving parents' parenting skills is the best way to reduce the rate of youth crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

有人认为,提高父母的育儿技能是降低青少年犯罪率的最佳途径。你在多大程度上同意或不同意这种观点?

立场: I largely agree that better parenting is the single most effective way to cut youth crime, although I accept that other social factors play a secondary but real role.我基本同意,提升父母的育儿技能是降低青少年犯罪率最有效的单一途径,不过我也承认其他社会因素确实起到次要但真实的作用。

6.5 分

This answer stays correct and on-topic throughout but develops each body paragraph with only one reason plus one example, uses plain connectors like 'However' and 'This shows that', and repeats simple phrasing such as 'sense of right and wrong' instead of varying its vocabulary.这篇作文全程语法正确、紧扣主题,但每个主体段只用一个理由加一个例子来展开论证,使用'However'、'This shows that'等基础连接词,并反复使用'sense of right and wrong'这类简单表达,而非变换词汇。

I agree that improving the way parents raise their children is the best way to reduce youth crime, although other social factors also play a part. This essay explains why parenting has such a strong effect on young people's behaviour.我同意,改善父母的教育方式是减少青少年犯罪最有效的途径,尽管我承认其他社会因素也起一定作用。本文将说明为什么家庭教育对青少年的行为影响如此之大。

First of all, the family is where a child first learns right from wrong. If parents set clear rules and explain their reasons, instead of just punishing, children learn to control their own behaviour rather than just fear being caught. This matters in Vietnam, because many grandparents help raise children while the parents work long hours. When the whole family teaches the same values, children grow up with a clear sense of right and wrong. However, if parents do not guide them well, children may turn to friends instead, and some friend groups can encourage bad behaviour such as stealing.首先,家庭是孩子最早学会分辨是非的地方。如果父母制定清晰的规则并解释其中的原因,而不是一味惩罚,孩子就会学会自我约束,而不仅仅是害怕被抓。这一点在越南尤其重要,因为许多祖父母会在父母长时间工作时帮忙带孩子。当全家人传递一致的价值观时,孩子就能形成清晰的是非观念。然而,如果父母没有好好引导孩子,孩子可能转而依赖朋友,而有些朋友圈子可能会怂恿偷窃等不良行为。

Secondly, parents who are actively involved in raising their children often help the wider community too. For example, in my neighbourhood in Da Nang, a group of parents started a free football programme for teenagers two years ago, because many local children had parents who worked late and could not supervise them after school. The programme quickly grew from about fifteen children to more than eighty. According to the local police, minor crimes by teenagers, such as vandalism and shoplifting, fell by roughly half within a year. This shows that when parents get involved, young people across the whole community become less likely to commit crimes.其次,积极参与子女教育的父母往往也会帮助到更广泛的社区。例如,在我位于岘港的社区里,一群家长两年前发起了一个面向青少年的免费足球项目,因为当地许多孩子的父母上晚班,无法在放学后看管他们。该项目很快从约十五名孩子发展到超过八十人。据当地警方称,青少年的轻微犯罪行为,如破坏公物和入店行窃,在一年内下降了约一半。这说明当家长积极参与时,整个社区的年轻人犯罪的可能性都会降低。

In conclusion, although schools, communities and the police all help reduce youth crime, I still believe that better parenting is the most effective solution. Teaching children good values from an early age deals with the root cause of youth crime, not just its symptoms.总之,尽管学校、社区和警方都有助于减少青少年犯罪,但我仍然认为,改善家庭教育才是最有效的解决办法。从小就教导孩子正确的价值观,能够从根源上解决青少年犯罪问题,而不仅仅是应对表面症状。

搭配词汇

learn right from wrong · 分辨是非set clear rules · 制定清晰的规则a clear sense of right and wrong · 清晰的是非观念actively involved in raising their children · 积极参与子女教育fell by roughly half · 下降了约一半the root cause · 根本原因

考官点评

  • TRI agree that improving the way parents raise their children is the best way to reduce youth crime, although other social factors also play a part.The thesis is stated clearly but in a single plain sentence, without the layered qualification ('single most powerful lever') seen in the higher-band answer.论点表达清晰,但只用一个简单句陈述,缺少高分范文中那种更细致的限定说法(如'最有力的杠杆')。
  • LRa clear sense of right and wrongA correct, natural but common collocation; the writer relies on simple, safe vocabulary rather than the extended metaphors used at higher bands.搭配正确自然,但属于常见表达;作者依赖简单稳妥的词汇,而非高分范文中使用的延伸隐喻。
  • GRAIf parents set clear rules and explain their reasons, instead of just punishing, children learn to control their own behaviour rather than just fear being caught.A correctly formed conditional sentence with one contrast clause; grammatically accurate but structurally simpler than the layered relative clauses used at higher bands.条件句结构正确,附带一个对比从句;语法准确,但句式结构比高分范文中层层嵌套的关系从句简单。
  • CCHowever, if parents do not guide them well, children may turn to friends insteadThe basic contrast marker 'However' links this idea correctly to the previous sentence, though it is less varied than the concessive 'Where...however' construction used at band 7.5.基本转折词 'However' 正确地衔接了前后句意,但不如7.5分范文中让步结构 'Where...however' 那样多样化。
7.0 分

This answer adds a subordinate clause and a specific contrast in each body paragraph and links ideas with more purposeful transitions like 'Beyond the home', but it still develops each point with only one reasoning-plus-example strand rather than the reasoning-example-and-brief-counterpoint layering found at band 7.5.这篇作文在每个主体段都加入了从属结构和具体的对比,并用'Beyond the home'等更具目的性的过渡语衔接内容,但每个论点仍只有一条'说理加举例'的线索,而不像7.5分范文那样具备'说理—举例—简要反驳'的多层次论证。

The idea that improving parents' parenting skills is the best way to reduce youth crime is one I largely agree with. While I accept that other social factors also contribute, I believe that the quality of guidance a child receives at home has the greatest influence on their later behaviour.对于"改善父母的教育技巧是减少青少年犯罪最有效途径"这一观点,我在很大程度上表示赞同。尽管我承认其他社会因素也有一定影响,但我认为,孩子在家中获得的引导质量对其日后的行为影响最为深远。

To begin with, the family is a child's first source of moral guidance. Parents who set consistent boundaries and explain the reasoning behind their rules, rather than relying purely on punishment, tend to raise children who develop genuine self-control instead of merely fearing consequences. This is particularly relevant in Vietnam, where grandparents often share responsibility for raising children while both parents work long hours; when the whole extended family reinforces the same values, children develop a steadier sense of right and wrong. Where this guidance is missing, children are more likely to seek belonging from peer groups instead, some of which normalise minor offences such as theft.首先,家庭是孩子道德引导的第一来源。相比单纯依靠惩罚,那些设定一致规则并向孩子解释其中道理的父母,往往能培养出真正具备自我约束能力的孩子,而不只是害怕后果的孩子。这一点在越南尤为突出,因为在父母长时间工作的情况下,祖父母常常共同承担养育责任;当整个大家庭传递一致的价值观时,孩子会形成更稳固的是非观。而一旦这种引导缺失,孩子就更可能转向同伴群体寻求归属感,其中一些群体会把偷窃等轻微违法行为视为寻常。

Beyond the home, parents who stay closely involved with their children also tend to extend that same care into the surrounding community, which can indirectly reduce youth crime. In the ward where I grew up in Da Nang, a small group of parents partnered with the local Youth Union two years ago to set up a free evening football programme for teenagers whose parents worked late shifts. What began with roughly fifteen participants soon grew to more than eighty, and the ward police later reported that minor offences among under-18s, such as vandalism and shoplifting, had fallen by around half within a year. This shows how the vigilance responsible parents show at home can extend outward and reduce youth crime nearby.除了家庭之外,密切关注子女的父母往往也会将这种关爱延伸到周边社区,从而间接减少青少年犯罪。在我成长的岘港那个坊,两年前一小群家长与当地青年团合作,为父母上晚班的青少年设立了一个免费的夜间足球项目。这个项目最初只有约十五名参与者,很快便发展到八十多人,坊公安随后报告称,未成年人的轻微违法行为,如破坏公物和入店行窃,在一年内下降了约一半。这说明负责任的父母在家中展现的这种警觉性,能够向外延伸,减少周边地区的青少年犯罪。

In conclusion, while schools, communities and law enforcement all play a part in tackling youth crime, I remain convinced that improving parenting skills offers the most direct solution. A consistent, values-based upbringing addresses the root of the problem rather than simply managing its symptoms afterwards.总之,尽管学校、社区和执法机构在应对青少年犯罪方面都发挥着作用,但我依然坚信,改善家庭教育才是最直接的解决方案。始终如一、以价值观为核心的家庭教育能够从根源上解决问题,而不是事后才去处理其表面症状。

搭配词汇

moral guidance · 道德引导set consistent boundaries · 设定一致的规则genuine self-control · 真正的自我约束extend that same care into the surrounding community · 将这种关爱延伸到周边社区indirectly reduce youth crime · 间接减少青少年犯罪values-based upbringing · 以价值观为核心的教育

考官点评

  • TRWhile I accept that other social factors also contribute, I believe that the quality of guidance a child receives at home has the greatest influence on their later behaviour.The thesis now names a specific mechanism ('quality of guidance... at home') rather than simply repeating the question, showing more developed task response than the 6.5 answer, though still less tightly worded than the 7.5 'single most powerful lever' formulation.论点点明了具体机制('家中引导的质量'),而不是简单复述题目,任务回应度高于6.5分范文,但措辞仍不及7.5分范文'最有力的杠杆'那样凝练。
  • LRtend to raise children who develop genuine self-control instead of merely fearing consequencesA precise contrast ('genuine self-control' vs 'merely fearing consequences') shows wider lexical range than the 6.5 answer, close to the 7.5 phrasing but slightly less varied overall.'genuine self-control' 与 'merely fearing consequences' 形成的精准对比,展现出比6.5分范文更广的词汇量,接近7.5分范文的措辞,但整体变化度略逊一筹。
  • GRAwhen the whole extended family reinforces the same values, children develop a steadier sense of right and wrongA subordinate time/condition clause introduced by 'when' is combined accurately with the main clause, showing more subordination than the 6.5 answer's simple conditionals.由 'when' 引导的时间/条件状语从句与主句准确结合,比6.5分范文中简单的条件句展现出更多的从属结构运用。
  • CCBeyond the home, parents who stay closely involved with their children also tend to extend that same care into the surrounding community, which can indirectly reduce youth crime.The transition 'Beyond the home' cohesively signals the shift from family-level to community-level influence, giving the paragraph sequence a clearer logical progression than the 6.5 answer's plainer 'Secondly'.过渡语 'Beyond the home' 连贯地标示出从家庭层面到社区层面影响的转变,使段落顺序比6.5分范文中较为平淡的 'Secondly' 更具逻辑递进感。
7.5 分

The 7.5 answer layers a specific two-year-old Da Nang football-programme example with concrete before/after numbers (fifteen to eighty participants, crime down by half) onto a fully developed abstract argument about extended-family values, and uses an extended 'classroom for moral development' metaphor plus varied concessive structures ('Where...however') that the lower bands simplify away.7.5分范文在关于大家庭价值观的完整抽象论证之上,叠加了一个两年前岘港足球项目的具体案例,并附有前后对比的确切数字(参与人数从十五人增至八十人,犯罪率下降一半),同时运用了延伸隐喻'道德教育的课堂'以及多样化的让步结构(如'Where...however'),这些都是低分档中被简化掉的部分。

The claim that sharpening parents' child-rearing skills is the most effective route to lowering youth crime rates is one I largely endorse. Although wider social interventions undoubtedly matter, the formative influence of a stable, well-guided home life on a child's character makes parenting the single most powerful lever available.认为提升父母育儿技能是降低青少年犯罪率最有效途径的观点,我基本上是认同的。尽管更广泛的社会干预无疑也有其作用,但稳定、正确引导的家庭生活对孩子人格形成的深远影响,使育儿方式成为目前最有力的一个杠杆。

To begin with, the family is the first and most enduring classroom for moral development. Parents who understand how to set consistent boundaries, model empathy, and explain the reasoning behind rules — rather than simply issuing punishments — raise children who internalise self-control rather than merely fearing consequences. This matters even more in households where grandparents share the day-to-day care of children, a pattern still common across Vietnam when both parents work long hours; when the whole extended family reinforces the same values rather than sending mixed signals, children develop a far steadier moral compass. Where this guidance is absent or inconsistent, however, children are markedly more likely to seek validation and structure from peer groups instead, some of which may normalise petty theft, vandalism, or worse.首先,家庭是孩子道德发展最初、也是最持久的课堂。懂得设立一致的界限、以身作则展现同理心、并向孩子解释规则背后道理——而不是单纯施以惩罚——的父母,往往能培养出真正将自律内化于心、而非仅仅畏惧后果的孩子。在越南,许多家庭仍由祖父母在父母长时间工作时分担照顾孩子的责任,这种情况下这一点尤为重要:当整个大家庭传递的是同一套价值观,而不是相互矛盾的信号时,孩子就能发展出更稳固的道德指南针。反之,当这种引导缺失或前后不一致时,孩子就更容易转而从同伴群体中寻求认同感和归属感,而其中一些同伴群体可能会将小偷小摸、破坏公物乃至更严重的行为视为「正常」。

Beyond the home, engaged parents also tend to extend their influence into the surrounding community, which indirectly suppresses youth crime. In the residential ward where I grew up in Da Nang, a handful of parent volunteers partnered with the local Youth Union two years ago to run a free evening football programme, aimed squarely at teenagers whose parents worked late shifts and could not supervise them after school. What started with about fifteen boys and girls soon grew to more than eighty, and the ward police later reported that minor offences among under-18s — loitering, petty vandalism, and shoplifting — fell by roughly half within a year. This is not parenting in the strict sense, but it shows how the same vigilance responsible parents exercise at home, once extended through neighbourhood structures such as the 'tổ dân phố' or the Youth Union, reinforces exactly the values good parenting instils and closes off the idle hours in which delinquency tends to take root.除了家庭之外,用心的父母往往也会将其影响力延伸到周边社区,从而间接遏制青少年犯罪。在我成长于岘港的那个居民区,两年前,几位家长志愿者与当地的青年团合作,开办了一个免费的傍晚足球活动,专门面向那些父母上晚班、放学后无人看管的青少年。活动最初只有约十五名男孩女孩参加,很快就发展到八十多人,当地派出所后来报告说,未成年人的轻微违法行为——游荡滋事、破坏公物、小偷小摸——在一年内下降了约一半。严格来说,这并不算是「育儿」,但它说明,负责任的父母在家中所展现的那种警觉,一旦通过「组」(tổ dân phố)或青年团这样的邻里组织向外延伸,就能强化良好育儿所灌输的同样价值观,填补了青少年容易走上歧途的那些闲散时间。

In conclusion, while schools, communities, and law enforcement all have a part to play in curbing youth crime, I remain firmly convinced that improving parenting skills offers the most direct and lasting solution. A consistent, values-driven upbringing addresses the root of the problem rather than merely managing its symptoms.总而言之,尽管学校、社区和执法部门在遏制青少年犯罪方面都各自扮演着角色,但我仍然坚信,提升育儿技能才是最直接、最持久的解决方案。始终如一、以价值观为核心的家庭教育,针对的是问题的根源,而不仅仅是在处理其表面症状。

搭配词汇

internalise self-control · 将自律内化于心moral compass · 道德指南针extended family unit · 大家庭单位indirectly suppresses youth crime · 间接遏制青少年犯罪collective vigilance · 集体警觉closes off the idle hours · 填补闲散时间values-driven upbringing · 以价值观为核心的教养方式

考官点评

  • TRthe formative influence of a stable, well-guided home life on a child's character makes parenting the single most powerful lever available.The thesis makes a clear, nuanced claim — parenting as 'the single most powerful lever' — that the rest of the essay develops.论点明确而细致——将家庭教育称为'最有力的杠杆'——全文由此展开论证。
  • LRthe family is the first and most enduring classroom for moral developmentAn extended metaphor ('classroom for moral development') is used naturally to characterise the family's educational role.延伸隐喻('道德教育的课堂')自然地刻画了家庭的教育作用。
  • GRAParents who understand how to set consistent boundaries, model empathy, and explain the reasoning behind rules — rather than simply issuing punishments — raise children who internalise self-control rather than merely fearing consequences.A relative clause subject followed by parallel gerund/infinitive phrases and a second relative clause shows controlled, layered sentence structure.关系从句作主语,搭配并列的动名词/不定式短语及第二个关系从句,展现出层次分明、控制良好的句法结构。
  • CCWhere this guidance is absent or inconsistent, however, children are markedly more likely to seek validation and structure from peer groups insteadThe conditional-concessive opener 'Where...however' cohesively contrasts this sentence with the positive scenario described just before it.让步条件式开头 'Where...however' 使本句与前文所述的正面情形形成连贯的对比。
  • TRI remain firmly convinced that improving parenting skills offers the most direct and lasting solution.The conclusion restates the writer's position with firm conviction, mirroring the stance first set out in the introduction.结论以坚定的措辞重申作者立场,与引言中首次提出的观点相呼应。